So the other day I went to the ASPCA impound lot to look at cats to smuggle out of the country and sell to Chinese restaurants when I ran into someone who opposed my shirt (which read "save the whales, trade them for valuable prizes!"). However, I was prepared for this and responded by saying "fuck you," thus highlighting his inferior intellect in front of all his coworkers and dying cats. He told me to leave the premises on the grounds of public harassment claims (which were completely ridiculous, I believe he was simply jealous of my amazing talents in debating) and I responded with a graceful "What the hell are you gonna do, call the cops?". Startled by my genius opposition to his threat, he grabbed my hilarious shirt (that he was also jealous of) and started dragging me near the back door. I was confused and then realized he intended to sodomize me and I quickly informed him I was not a homosexual (being honest, I must tell you I actually said "fuck you faggot, I ain't gay" but I'm sure you understand that in such a "heat of the moment" activity, I had no time for messing around. Anyway, this was my day, and I am now in jail for a few nights just to bring me down to the rest of society, as they do not like the fact that I am so superior to them.
